Trying is half the battle

So the weather was really nice for several days in a row, and I made myself get up and onto things needing done outside.First we pruned some branches off the big tree and butchered the hell outta the front bushes. Then I removed all the dead stuff off the front garden and removed all weeds.We had already had a gardener come to poison the rampant weeds in our back garden, so raked up all that too. So now both back and front are ready for their make overs. Back gardens getting new turf/sod added and the smaller shed is going up.All excess crap is going away and what is kept will go into the shed.Front garden is getting a mix of 3 types of wildflower seed. I didn't do any of this in one day, and it sure took a very long time to accomplish each task. Lots of pain and feeling like I might die on the spot, but I did it and am one step closer to getting back my outside spaces, as well as starting to improve my physical health.So all in all I feel I have accomplished something.

Update

Slowly Painting the bedroom, and I do mean slowly. The neck and shoulder injury I got from the accident doesn't allow me long before severe pain and migraine set in. I usually can go around 5 to 10 mins before I'm completely creased. The fireplace wall took 5 hours for just 1 coat! When I finish I am usually so broken and in pain I put myself to bed , which I find ridiculous as I haven't done much really! I didn't paint all the way up as we are adding coving there, so no point wasting paint. Once the rest of the excess stuff is out I can finish the blue on the walls, but that requires hubby to have a good day and help me with the wardrobe. The final step is 8 drops of wallpaper on the bed wall and curtains with blinds over the window. We also plan to re-tile the fireplace to keep it matching with the new look. As for the rest of what I am up to, just trying to feel I accomplish things without killing myself, which is hard with my pain, and sorting out the insurance claim..which will help pay for work I can't do on this house that needs doing. The wheels of justice seem so very slow, LOL

Remembering Lost Love

I Loved You Best

So this is where we part, My Friend,
and you'll run on, around the bend,
gone from sight, but not from mind, 
new pleasures there you'll surely find.

I will go on, I'll find the strength, 
life measures quality, not its length.
One long embrace before you leave,
share one last look, before I grieve. 

There are others, that much is true,
but they be they, and they aren't you. 
And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought, 
will remember well all you've taught. 

Your place I'll hold, you will be missed,
the fur I stroked, the nose I kissed. 
And as you journey to your final rest, 
take with you this... I loved you best.

- Jim Willis

The Mental side of Mending

Since I updated you all on the physical side of my healing, or lack there of, I will now update you on the psychological side.
The main things I am now having to deal with on a daily basis are :

1. Unmanageable fear of riding in cars
2. Increased anxiety or uneasiness
3. Persistent nightmares
4. Very Jumpy at unexpected noises occurring

I am basically now unable to ride in a car like any normal person would, just the idea that we have to go somewhere causes me to hyperventilate and feel like bursting out into tears. Anyone who knows me and my story previous tot his accident knows I am a very tough lady and have travelled the width and breath of my own country in a car, both driving and as a passenger.  I have never been so fearful as I now am concerning vehicular travel. I actually get physical symptoms from being forced by circumstances to have no choice but to be in one. I am so very jumpy now, I literally jump out of my skin or duck at any sound I wasn't aware was coming, and those I was expecting if loud enough I still jump as well. I am having constant nightmares, this leads to constant bad sleep... which obviously is wearing and not good for me. I have a general sense of anxiety & uneasiness around me now and have to try to keep my mind very occupied to ignore this causing me panic attacks. I will need to seek professional help for all of this I know...but want to get my physical self a bit better first as sitting in a chair for 30 mins to an hour right now would cause too much pain.

Still on the Mend

Three weeks now since the accident and still I continue to suffer the aftermath. I can barely get into a car now, as it brings on serious anxiety and panic attacks to do so, I even begin to tear up when there is too many other cars around. So due to this I only get into the car when it can't be avoided like doctors or Job centre related things. Physically I thought I was getting better, but have now found this depends on the day. Some days it is just the non stop headache, and biting twinge in my neck, others i'ts full blown agony my head throbbing like I've never known before and serious earache along with the neck pain feeling so severe I have to try and just put myself to bed. I am doing what the GP recommended which was to not coddle the neck and to use it , to prevent it seizing up...but this is what tends to cause the worst days..especially when I turn my head to look at something or someone. My sinus drain seems a teeny bit better, but is still occurring, which when in the laying position causes  my throat to feel as though there is something in there blocking it. I been lucky and have no numbness or pins and needles sensations, but have noticed my shoulder begins to aches something chronic if I do too much. I will be so glad when these things go away, as they are hindering me in my original plans. I should have been long done with the bathroom by now and onto the hallway and landing, but simply cannot get a thing done due to the head and neck pain becomes too great after only a mere 5 mins of doing anything. Just my luck I suppose. :(  In the below photo the RED is the areas of actual injury pinpoints the Yellow is the referred pain and headache

I endure.

Cowboy Poetry and Storytelling - Gary Brace - "That old dog"

Cowboy Poetry and Storytelling - Gary Brace - "These words to which to I...

A Laugh A Day Keeps You Sane (Spring)

A Laugh A Day Keeps You Sane

A quote I like:
"I learned that who doesn’t look for you, doesn’t miss you and who doesn’t miss you doesn’t care for you… that destiny determines who enters your life but you decide who stays… that the truth hurts only once and a lie every time you remember it. There are three things in life that leave and never return: words, time and opportunities… therefore, value whoever values you and don’t treat as a priority whoever treats you as an option."